When you feel like those that should care are on their way out of your life, it's a struggle to maintain balance. Situations change, and the circumstances that surround your relationship with a person can change based on a number of things. It is important that you try to maintain a relationship so long as you believe that their friendship is good for your soul.
It is hard for me to think about where I was for this holiday for the last two years. Thanksgiving has been a not great holiday for these last two years. What used to be my favorite holiday has a new stigma that makes me dread this day. Two years ago was the first time that I really felt abandoned from love, like I was truly alone in that aspect of my life. Last year, due to circumstances beyond my control, I was put into that situation again.
I am choosing to make this a better memory than ever. I am following the advice that my dad has always given me during the holidays, "lower your expectations and raise your tolerance". I plan to do just that this holiday season. I will be seeing my dad's side of my extended family for Thanksgiving this year, which is really exciting as I haven't seen them since my sister's wedding.
What I believe I struggle with the most is my ability to truly forgive with all my heart. I have always been reluctant to accept my own mistakes and faults, I see the flaws and the consequences of others actions, but believe that I remain only the victim. I must accept the consequences of my own actions and make peace with that.
"What is done in the the dark, will always come into light."
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